Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize