He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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