i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
