"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
