time to smoke my breakfast
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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