yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
