Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize