yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
