His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Randomize
