Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
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