every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
