D3 body, D1 cock
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
