Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
