well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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