so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
you had me at cake vodka
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
