Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
