The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
