i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
