Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I want to be your penis for a week.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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