I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
