3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
40s are totally the cure
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
