i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
