Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
she told me i tasted like america
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You pole danced in your parka.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
