bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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