the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
