so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize