Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I need moral support for this bender
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
