lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I need a beard to bite.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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