dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
