i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i came on her dog
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
