I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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