i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
