I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
