Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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