I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Is it because I queefed?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
