also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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