3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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