Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
