Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
