using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
So here I am, sexting at work.
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