Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
