Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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