And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
