If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
