it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
