McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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