It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
