And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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