My friends, they love my intelligence
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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