i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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