i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
