My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
