I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
It's shark week go big or go home
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
