he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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