Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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