Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize