so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
