they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
