I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize