he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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