And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
