ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
