two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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